Conner.
His thoughts were sometimes worse than he could ever imagine. He could attempt to fight them but it left him to a struggle that forced him to lose the air that his lungs needed so much. It threw him into anxiety, into fear… The nightmare of last night had thrown him over the edge, clutching ever so tightly to the pillow for comfort.
Eyes were puffy from the tears, body tense as it was curled up into a ball. He didn’t care for hearing the soft knock, didn’t care to budge at the soft voice that escaped into the air. He didn’t hear the other’s question but he had muttered the same phrase over and over again like a broken record.
“I don’t want to
liveanymore. “The words were whispered, mumbled to the pillow that covered his splotchy face. Teeth bit against his tongue, hard against the soft tissue… “This world is already HELL so th-the after life can’t be as bad…”
what is one to say? emil’s thoughts ran wild, the hesitation in his figure to even enter the room showed his wish to avoid such a scene. yet, with a swallow and a slow breath, released from an anxious stomach, he moved closer. weight spreading out upon the bed, his hand resting gingerly against the other’s shoulder.
“ shhh… ” his words are quiet, soothing. “ you don’t m-mean that. Think of everyone you’ve encountered … everyone wh-who cares about you, that looks up to you. do you really want to leave them behind? ” hands are gentle, moving to press warm palms, massaging the other’s shoulder gently.
he’s the careful type. he does not like conflict between two opposing factions, yet he is used to it. there is a difference to such a thing, and accepting it as ‘the only way’. the pain of living … the ripping of one’s stomach to simply be alive was something he was very much used to. one he would never wish upon another living being.
“ conner, can you hear me? ”
shifting forward, emil’s hands moved to gently roll the other a bit forward. strength of a thousand year old summon spirit doing it quite easily, yet he would not admit to the ‘ease’. “ conner mundy, sniper of the red team, do you hear me? Is this what y-you really want? To give up on everyone who cares for you? To l-leave them behind? ” because emil could not help him if that was what he truly wanted.
though emil had the sinking suspicion that truly was not what he wished.